“When I educate my children, please don’t dismantle the platform”, “dismantle the platform” for parenting, it’s really not necessary

Many parents may be unfamiliar with the dismantling of the desktop parenting system, but this method is common in many families. This kind of wrong education method will not only have a very serious impact on the growth of the child, but also have a great impact on the relationship between husband and wife. Injury, then let’s use a few examples to get a feel for what is demolition parenting. If this type of parenting also exists in your family, then parents must pay attention to it.

scene one

When it was time to eat, everyone sat down and prepared to eat, but the child was still watching TV in the living room. The mother called the child a few words, but the child ignored his mother. The mother repeatedly called the child several times, slowly. Her voice became serious, but the child still did not respond. At this time, the father also urged the child, and the child agreed, but still remained motionless. At this time, grandma came out and said that the rice is still hot. Let her watch it first. I’ll wait. Go and feed her.

Scene two

The child will have English tuition every week, so the mother will let the child review and preview for 15–20 minutes at about 2 o’clock, but today the child wants to watch cartoons, and the mother keeps discussing with the child, but what about the child? I didn’t want to, and I just stuck to my dad and acted like a baby. At this time, my dad didn’t stand on the mother’s side, but to protect the child. He said that the child finally had a weekend and went to school, and had no childhood at all. Grandma also followed his father’s words to cater to the child. .

In these two things, we can feel that the two educational concepts of the husband and wife in this family are different. We will find that the children always have an avoidant attitude towards their mothers, but are very attached to their fathers and grandmothers. We don’t know this kind of problem. Have you ever met the moms and dads sitting here? When you are educating your children with a serious face, telling facts, reasoning, and politely speaking, your significant other, or the elderly in your family, is constantly interjecting or helping your children with the same hatred Speaking, the final result is a waste of tongue, because the child can’t listen at all.

On the issue of children’s education, it is not uncommon for a family to have differences of opinion. There was a survey in which more than 80% of parents said that the inconsistency in education has become a “difficulty” in the relationship between husbands and wives. Generally speaking, when educating children, there are two ways for family members to dismantle the platform:

The first type: head-to-head, we must fight for right and wrong

A netizen said about her own experience. She said that when two people had no children, they seldom quarreled. After they had children, the number of quarrels in a month was equal to the number of years in the relationship, because of the children’s various problems. Two people always disagree, educating children, what is afraid is not that the husband and wife have different educational concepts, but that both of them are sure that they are right, and then in order to prove themselves, in front of the children, they fight for red. This is not only Affect the relationship between husband and wife, and also have a certain impact on children.

The second type: soft and hard, lose authority in front of the child

The most taboo thing for adults to discipline their children is to have differences in front of the children, because the last method of fighting over and over is of no use. The children will take advantage of the differences between the parents. When the mother educates the children, the grandparents will protect the children. To make excuses for the child, the mother’s authority is challenged at this time, and this is how self-willed and spoiled come about.

Therefore, in the matter of educating children, husbands and wives should learn to “form an alliance”, stand in the same position on all right and wrong, and always be on the united front on issues of principle. Only in this way can children distinguish between right and wrong and continue to grow. At the same time, in front of the children, parents should not each other To tear down the stage, we should love each other, and a good relationship between husband and wife is also very important for children.