“Widowed parenting” is rampant, where should children’s education go?

It can be seen the importance of father’s education in the process of children’s growth, but in recent years, “widowed education” is not uncommon.

Widowed parenting is explained on Baidu Encyclopedia as “significant lack of one party in family education. For example, one of the parents is out for a long time, or both parents are with their children, but lack emotional support from one of them, such as leaving early and returning late, children’s difficulty meeting, No verbal communication, etc.”

It can be seen from the above explanation that no matter which parent has a lack of education for the child, it can be called widowed parenting.

Returning to real life, it seems that there is more lack of paternal love.

01
Reasons for widowed education

First, from the perspective of human evolutionary principles, the cost of women’s reproductive investment is huge, coupled with the inherent psychological advantages of women’s patience and meticulousness, resulting in women putting more effort into nurturing. .

In contrast to men, the cost of childbirth for men is extremely low and there is no risk of childbirth.

In the cost of childbirth, the costs paid by men and women are not equal. Therefore, men’s attention to childcare is also difficult to compare with women.

Second, in modern society, people pursue a good quality of life, which requires families to have more social wealth to support.

Therefore, men who work overtime, socialize, and work in the workplace are exhausted when they return home, and cannot have extra energy to take care of their children. They are full of helplessness in exhaustion.

Because of the long-term lack of parenting, the father is extremely unfamiliar and bad when he needs them to raise children, and it is inevitable that he will be bored because of his bad skills.

When the father is bored, evasion becomes a solution to the problem, which in turn exacerbates the father’s lack of children’s education.

Third, many times my father’s education tends to be careless, saying “Dad takes the baby, and it’s fine to live.” On social networks, we can often see fathers and children doing hilarious sand sculptures with their children.

But after a lot of laughter, when you look back, you will find that what the father did is sometimes very dangerous.

Therefore, many times mothers will accuse their fathers of these dangerous behaviors. After being accused, fathers’ enthusiasm will be undermined. If this happens, they will lose their interest in parenting.

All in all, the emergence of widowhood parenting is caused by many reasons.

02
The harm of widowed education

A survey showed that even babies, because of lack of paternal love, they will have typical symptoms of “paternal love syndrome” such as restlessness, loss of appetite, depression and irritability.

The younger the child who lacks paternal love, the greater the risk of suffering from this “paternal love syndrome”.

Various studies have shown that the absence of a father during the growth of a child will cause the child to have various unforeseen problems when he grows up, whether it is psychological or physical.

Children who grow up in families lacking parental love are generally insecure, and they cannot bear the love given by others.

Once someone gives love to them, they will subconsciously deny it, and children do not believe that they are worthy of being loved.

Children who grow up in such a family will indulge in an insecure world all their lives and find it difficult to find their own belonging.

Children who have difficulty accepting love will be disgusted and fearful in marriage.

In a long life, there may be someone who loves him, or someone he loves. But the lack of love for their father when they were young makes it difficult for them to bravely accept the love of others or have the courage to pursue the one he loves.

Austrian psychiatrist Adler once said: Happy people use childhood to heal their lives, and unfortunate people use their lives to heal childhood.

In the growth environment of childhood, the role of the father is extremely important.

Even after children grow up, they can still guide their behavior, thoughts, outlook on life, and world outlook. And this effect is subtle, far-reaching and lasting.

What many adults do in their subsequent social life can be traced back to their childhood experiences.

03
to sum up

Father’s love is the guide of children’s rational thoughts, and continues to lead children to become their own light after they grow up. In his later social life, he can guide children to solve problems and create social value more rationally and correctly.

For the father, he should recognize the important role he plays in parenting and balance his family and career.

Instead of lying on the sofa after get off work, instead of accompany the children to play with building blocks, read story books, and chat, they have become the most solid pillars of the children’s growth.

For mothers, when their fathers make progress in parenting, they should sincerely encourage their children’s fathers.

Identifies the parenting style of the child’s father, weakens his own desire for control, has the courage to let go, and actively enriches the child’s spiritual world.

In my opinion, the emergence of widowhood parenting is a complicated and intertwined problem in the social process.

As parents whose children depend on, take the initiative to take responsibility. Pay attention to the education of children in their growth process, and become the most shining light in children’s lives.

Encourage children not to be constrained by the current predicament, to have the courage to break through, and boldly create their own era.